I want to teach my kids resilience

 

I’ve had mental health on my mind a lot this season. My previous post highlighted some personal stuff from the last year and a half, and I also went through a period of burn-out in the late noughties that was only resolved when I had to take a break with maternity leave. Commuting to London for work did not agree with me! These seasons of life have taught me a lot about my own mental health and the need for a balanced life, one that works for me. We all have different levels of stamina both mental and physical, and the modern behaviour of publicising our best selves on social media has emphasised the struggle with comparison and what makes ‘a good life well lived’ ten-fold. Having children heightened that need for me to listen to what my body tells me, if only because I’m an introvert who gets frazzled after hours of being talked at but also because it has made the weight of responsibility to ‘raise my children well’ more, well, weighty.

And it is. As parents we are well aware of the multitude of skills that our children need to learn to grow into well-rounded adults. Many of these skills they will just pick up by observation of their peers and the adults in their life, whereas others need more careful teaching and modelling. I asked myself what key life skill I want and need to teach my children, and it is obvious to me now that this skill is resilience.

Resilience means that when bad things happen, we have mechanisms in place to help us cope, and important things like sleep and eating well are prioritised. Resilience means learning to ask for help. It means knowing that hard things are not necessarily bad things, and  knowing how to handle disappointment and stress. Resilience means knowing that mistakes are not failures and that learning from them without beating yourself up is important. Resilience means being able to spot the circumstances and situations that affect our mental balance for the good and the bad and to have a plan to manage our well-being so we are not caught short. Resilience means not being tossed around by every wind of life but developing a thick enough skin to not constantly live offended or hurt. It means not hiding away from difficult conversations about what life is really like; showing them that their value does not lie in perfection or in trying to be someone they are not but in knowing who they are; teaching them to be prepared to work to achieve what they want and how to manage their emotions.

Resilience means moving on, learning from the bad, embracing the new, and learning to be adaptable and flexible. It is a huge skill to hone over a lifetime and I have barely scratched the surface, but I would rather my kids already had a good grounding to work from. It’s a daunting task to be honest, and really, it does bear the question ‘what the hell was I thinking wanting to have kids in the first place?!!’ Thankfully, it is hard but also fun and interesting and you learn as much from your kids as they learn from you, and thank goodness for that!

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French Fashion for Kids {day ten}

 

Until a few years ago, I didn’t know there was such a thing as ‘French fashion for kids’ that distinguished it from other clothing styles. Then I had kids and got given a few items of clothing by French friends and family and boy is it different. To clarify, I dress my girls in cheap and cheerful British clothes that are lovely. But the clothes I got from France… Wow, they were stunning and the style was quite different, as were the prices. If you can afford to spend money on a new wardrobe for your kids every time they have a growth spurt, you might want to check out the list of websites below and feast your eyes on the gorgeous items (and not only kids’ fashion, but also accessories, toys and gifts).

 

I love the detail on little French dresses

Generally speaking, whilst you can of course find kids clothes in supermarkets, kids clothing seems to be a bit more upmarket. The following two sites also sell adult fashion, shoes and homeware (a bit like Next in the UK).

• La Redoute is possibly the most well-known of French brands; they have a UK site and a US site.
• Les Trois Suisses: these guys apparently aren’t bothered about selling outside France and Switzerland, as is their right of course.

The following four brands are quintessential France:

• Petit-Bateau: these guys have a classic French style, and are home to the iconic yellow waxed raincoat and the Breton navy and white stripes.
• Vertbaudet sells classic French clothes of excellent quality. One of the things I most like about French kids shops is that they use the full range of colours for both girls and boys. They have a US site and a UK site.
• Sergent-major is another well-known kids clothing brand, as is
• Jacadi, who currently have a kids collection called ‘Parisien chic‘

 

These next few are smaller, lesser-known brands, with their own original style:

• Gaspard et Zoë is particularly quirky and original
• La Queue du Chat is organic and fair trade, and so gorgeous
• French Blossom caters for the whole family and the home, and gathers French designers in one market place with very original results.
• Catimini also has a wide range of children’s clothing.

French newborn vests stand apart in that they tend to close at the front kimono-style with pressure buttons, unlike older-baby versions, which just have buttons between the legs.

Online Boutiques

French stores and designers also do this thing where they create members-only websites to access special deals on small retailers. Tendre Deal is such a site. There is no static online shop that you can access all the time, instead, independent brands are introduced within a limited-time window at reduced prices before closing and moving on to the next.

Orchestra is another member-only shop. I was gifted a dress from that shop and it was of exceptional quality and definitely different from my girls’ regular clothes.

 

True or False? Some say French babies are born wearing a beret

For more kids clothing websites, you can visit this place.